Pregnancy & The Fear

"The pain of breastfeeding had me on my knees almost unable to breathe!"

"Your partner won't be able to look at you the same way after seeing the head of a baby come out of you!"

"There is so much blood afterwards, you'll go through 10 pairs of knickers!"

"Make sure you take all the pain meds they offer! You'll regret it if not!"

These are just four of the comments I've heard in the last week as I get closer to my due date. So my question is this... Why do people feel the need to try and scare you about labour whilst claiming they 'wish somebody had told me all this before I'd gone into labour' ?? It's just not necessary. 

Don't get me wrong, I am so glad my sister and mum discussed that yes, I'll probably need to take a box of disposable briefs and yes, I should take more than one pair of comfy bottoms just in case there's more bleeding than I anticipated but there are ways of telling new expectant mothers these things without installing the fear into them.

Telling me I'm going to shit my arsehole out during labour isn't something I want to hear by a customer who comes into my work once a week or to the lady behind me in the que at Starbucks when she overheard that I plan on breastfeeding, it's not your chance to butt into my conversation and ask me "are you sure? It makes your boobs really saggy." No no no no no. 

This is my body. My pregnancy and my life. I'm sorry, unless I ask you a question or your opinion or unless you're my mother or sister and believe I will benefit from hearing your opinion even if I don't particularly want it, then you should stick to the usual "when is it due?" "do you know what you're having?" or even maybe the "wow, you're glowing" comments that expectant mothers don't mind being asked/told 100 times a day. 

End of rant.

Third Trimester Essentials

Being a step mum to four children is hard. Being pregnant is tiring. Being both whilst holding down a full time job is a word I don't think exists yet but for now, we'll choose 'exhausting'. 

I was very lucky during the first two months of my pregnancy; suffering only two days of morning sickness/nausea and maintaining my weight for the first 5 months, it was silly of me to think I would breeze through my third trimester with the same ease. Alas, it was not meant to be. So, I thought I would put together a little list of my personal third trimester essentials. 

1.  Stretch mark oil.
   Okay, so this wasn't really a third trimester purchase. Other than my folic acid, this was one of the first things I purchased after finding out I was pregnant. I believe that if you're going to get stretch marks, you're going to get them. I already have stretch marks in various places on my body but I wanted to give my body a helping hand in reducing its chances of getting them on my stomach. Although I cannot prove that the oil has stopped me getting stretch marks (fingers crossed & touch wood as I could still get them) but it has put me at ease. My partner rubs it in rather than doing it myself which I genuinely believe gives him a little bonding time with baby pea. (Plus it means I get to lay back, relax and have a little massage!) 
2. Fybogel.
   When I fell pregnant, every woman who had previously had a baby told tales of their back pains, the impending cramps, the swollen legs & feet and the heartburn I was bound to experience (see number 4.) Nobody warned me of the stomach problems I would experience once I hit this trimester. With the increase in progesterone in your body, the growing baby squishing your intestines and in some cases, iron supplements causing gut problems, half of pregnant women experience some form of constipation in their pregnancy. Fybogel has been a life saver for me. It's not the nicest taste or texture but with one in the morning, it has helped keep me regular. TMI but honestly, what did you expect coming on an expectant mothers blog?
3. Maternity Pillow.
   Yes!! I did not realise one pillow could make such a difference. As I've got bigger, I've found it very difficult to get comfortable during the night. My maternity pillow manages to support my bump and my leg. With many on the market, there are loads to choose from. I opted for a simple U shaped pillow. Yes, there were complaints at first from my partner as they take up quite a lot of room but after a while, he stopped moaning and realised that my pillow was important to me and I have debated whether I will even get rid of it after the baby is born. 
4. Milk.
   Not really a pregnancy purchase but my saviour when it comes to heartburn. I am very funny when it comes to taking medication so when I read up that milk is a natural heartburn reliever, I was chuffed. I did purchase some Tesco own brand Heartburn & Indigestion Liquid one day but have you tried that stuff? It is like swallowing a spoon of PVA glue... Yuck! Heartburn is one thing I have suffered terribly with during this trimester so milk has become my best friend. 
5. Water Infuser Bottle.
   This speaks for itself. If you struggle with drinking water, this is a great way to increase your water intake. A pregnant woman needs, on average, depending on your level of fitness and daily exercise, 2.2 litres of fluid a day. Fluid is a vague term and yes, includes water, fruit juice, milk etc however, I tried to stick to my water and my fruit infuser water helped me. I bought a 2 litre one, it's quite bulky and the description said for hikers but it's the perfect size for me to take to work in the morning and once I've finished it, any extra 'fluid' that day is a bonus for my baby and me. 
6. Maternity clothing.
   Like I said, I was lucky that I could fit into most of my clothes still way into my 5th month but once I hit month six, it was maternity jeans, loose fitting dresses and even maternity tights. I will make a seperate blog post on what my staple items were in my maternity wardrobe but bigger bras will definitely be number one on that list!
7. Yoga
   Last on my list is some form of yoga. The yoga I was doing before pregnancy could not be carried on in my third trimester once my stomach had started to pop out. So I found a more pregnant friendly yoga and it helps relax me, keep my exercising and is baby friendly.

These are just seven of the essentials in MY pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different and what may work for me, may not work for you and you make experience your own problems. You may also read my list and think "Ha! What heartburn?!" but like I said, everybodys journey is different. As long as you get through it healthy and happy, it doesn't matter how you cope. 

I'd love to know what your pregnancy essentials were. Were any the same? Is there anything missing on my list that you simply could not live without? Let me know in the comments!